Perfect Life Problem

Filling life with challenges and joy.

Author: Rachel

10 minute tidy for an ultimate transformation

I admit that claiming 10 minute tidy can be an ultimate transformation is well… bold. And quite honestly I am okay with that. I know the difference and space this has made in my life and I want to give that to you.

Who is this for?

Anyone who is willing to pick up after themselves and/or other people. Get the kids involved. Get other adults in the house involved. The nice thing is we are only talking about 10 minute tidy.

When do we do a 10 minute tidy?

I like the idea of a 10 minute tidy at any transition period. After every meal. Before leaving the house. At bedtime. I know when we are running out the door with toddlers the thought of spending 10 minutes picking up sounds ridiculous. It is worth it to come home manageable space.

What happens during the 10 minutes?

At first you might spend the whole 10 minutes picking up trash. Or collecting laundry and dishes. That is a perfect place to start. Overtime (and not even a long time) you will find that you can pick up all trash, laundry and dishes with time to spare.

Advanced 10 minute tidy includes returning items to their destination and spending the last two minutes relaxing on purpose.

What don’t we do during the 10 minute tidy?

Items that take longer than 30 seconds to put away are not the focus during this time. That ornament that should go in the bin in the back of the closet…. its not your time.

We do not wash dishes (unless this is a post meal tidy… if so… PLEASE just wash up those dishes). If we are talking a plate and a fork that just needs to go in the dishwasher without any further attention? I will give you a pass.

There is no toilet or bathtub cleaning. If there was a major toddler situation going on handle it but that is not actually part of the tidy.

Do not vacuum, sweep, or dust. These items are harder to do if you haven’t already picked up and just take away from the job at hand.

Laundry? Oh this is so tempting to me. I cannot even help myself. When you get to advanced tidy skills you should assess this for yourself and report back.

Keys to making this work

When picking up as a household during transition periods is just something we do then it stops being such a chore. A 2 year old can clear their dishes and scrape food into the trash. They can manage bringing their own dirty laundry to the appropriate spot. And they are often too good at throwing things away, maybe not always knowing which things to throw away.

Have low expectations at first. 10 minutes is not a long time when you are starting out. We are going to stop picking up at 10 minutes regardless of how much more there is to be done. Let the kids go back to what they have going on… let the other adults go back to what they have going on. If you really want to keep going…. wash some dishes or clean a toilet.

How does this make a difference?

The biggest impact made with the 10 minute tidy is a mindset change. We become the household the picks up laundry, doesn’t leave trash around, picks up dishes. We become the household that works together to complete tasks.

We begin to see where the pain points are in the process. Things like the toddler can’t reach the laundry basket. Or we keep the trash can in a locked cupboard and nobody wants to take the extra step to unlock it.

The 10 minute tidy makes it easier to do the work when you are ready. It is easy to put a load of laundry in the washer when all the dirty laundry is together. It is easier to do the dishes when the first step isn’t scouring the house for dishes. It is easier to sweep or vacuum where there isn’t stuff all over the floor.

May 13, 2026
10 Essential Skills Every Toddler Should Learn Before Preschool
The Importance of Developmental Skills for Toddlers

As a parent we are too often concerned about what essential toddler skills our children should be working on (and rightfully so). The past 3 years have been full of hitting many milestones but as we see preschool approaching it is easy to ask are they ready?

Our preschoolers learn a lot over the year in the classroom and we want them to be ready to learn. There is no need to intentionally teach preschool topics like letters, numbers, and colors. Naturally including these topics in daily life is enough to give a base understanding. But there are plenty of other skills to prepare.

The skills we focus on provide confidence, independence, and curiosity. These are the core foundations for our children to thrive in preschool.

Top 10 Essential Skills Every Toddler Should Learn
1. Dressing self
  By the time our children enter preschool they should be able to dress themselves. Buttons and zippers may still be a struggle but underwear, pants, shirts, socks, and shoes should be dressed independently. Avoid sending your child to school in outfits they cannot manage themselves.
2. Asking for help
  Help will be needed and we will not be there to anticipate their needs. Providing ample opportunities for our children to ask for help from ourselves and others will build their confidence. If you are at a restaurant let them have a chance to ask for the extra fork, a refill on their drink, or where the bathroom is.
3. Fully independent bathroom skills
  Independent bathroom skills go far beyond ditching the diapers. By preschool our children need to be able to leave the bathroom clean. Sufficiently wipe. Wash and dry hands without making a mess. And redress themselves. These skills will improve over the course of the year as it is a new environment with new challenges to overcome. Lets set them up for success by preparing at home.
4. Fine motor skills
  Working on skills like using a pencil and scissors can make the transition to preschool easier. Any task like stringing beads or lacing strings assists with these skills.
5. Gross motor skills
  Many preschoolers love to run and jump. Gross motor skills go beyond this with climbing, balance, and riding a tricycle. Give plenty of time throughout the day for your toddler to move their body.
6. Following directions
  Preschool is full of directions and every parent wonders how a room full of kids follows them. We don’t need to spend all day providing directions but have fun playing games like Simon Says. Also, provide directions to complete daily life activities to encourage essential toddler skills.
7. Problem solving
  Your child needs to be able to tackle some problems independently. This is how they grow, thrive, and learn. Let them struggle with tasks and problems just outside of their reach.
8. Independent play
  Self directed play is huge for preschoolers. There are many hours where they are learning through play and the teacher is engaging with other students or observing to help the class the most. Independent play is often where learning solidified and our kids have the chance to be little scientists.
9. Can separate from caregivers
  An essential toddler skill that is hard won before preschool is being able to separate from parents. Its not easy for every child but by the time they are approaching preschool it is time to give them a chance. Start small if they haven’t experienced it before. Start with an adult they already know, trust, and spend time with.
10. Respects others and things
  Preschool is a new environment with new rules and unfamiliar people. Things like speaking to other people. How to treat school property. Keeping hands, feet, and body to yourself. These can be unfamiliar concepts that with a little effort can be prepared in advance.
Tips for Parents to Encourage Skill Development

Provide daily routines for your toddler. Daily routines help our toddlers to understand what is next. They also help to provide opportunities to practice essential toddler skills like dressing, following directions, and fine motor skills.

Work on skills when you are not rushed. Have patience when introducing a new skills. And give logs of freedom for independent play as well as mistakes.
May 13, 2026
Fire your mental Mom to-do list now

Come on ladies, we CANNOT continue to keep mom to do lists in our heads. The mental overwhelm of trying to keep track of everything is holding us back. I also don’t want long to do lists sitting around because they never get done. We are going to re-frame the list and make it useful.

Where to start with the mental mom to do list?

Take some time over the next day or weeks (10 minutes at a time) to write down all of the things you need to do. Some will be daily things like the dishes and some could be yearly things like filing taxes or one time projects. The list needs to include must do, would be nice to do, and really want to dos.

Now what? I feel overwhelmed!

Yup. You do a lot in your life and have even bigger dreams. There are some things on the list that you know are non-negotiable. You need to eat, sleep, and use the bathroom. We are going to break the list up into categories. Must do, want to do, Suzie thinks I should. Suzie is my friend who really has her stuff together and is at a new phase of life. I value her opinion and want to do her ideas (they are always worth it) but I can only handle one at a time.

I’m not sure that helped. There is so much to do.

I get it. There is still so much on our plates. Now its time to decide one category at a time which tasks on our mom to-do list will be daily, weekly, monthly, yearly, or one time events. Take your time and really think how often do I actually do this, how often do I feel this should be done, how long could it sit untouched without becoming an added stressors. What we are left with is a fantastic list with a very wide range of timelines to accomplish tasks.

A fun step in the new list

Decide which tasks actually need to be accomplished by you and which ones you can be satisfied just knowing they are done. If you look at your list and decide all of the items need to be completed by you then put this task aside and do a little reflection. Do you feel as though you have nobody that would do it or that nobody can do it as well as you.

Outsourcing the mom to-do list

Everyone in the house gets to help complete the mom to-do list. I am not the type of person who is comfortable asking for help. I have absolutely moved all of the furniture out of my house by myself. All too often we take on more than needed and the people in our household don’t even know what help we need. Especially when they see us just handling it. Our children benefit from knowing how to tidy a house or manage their own routines.

10 minute systems

If a system takes much longer than 10 minutes it gets hard to plan to complete it or complete it once started. All tasks on your daily list should be completed withing a daily system that happens at a specific time or trigger. This is where morning and night time routines come in. Weekly tasks will be separated by days of the week but for now we aren’t stressing about making a full plan. We are getting the information out of our heads and onto paper in a way we can use it.

What about tasks that take longer than 10 minutes?

When a task takes longer than 10 minutes we are going to call it a project. Projects get special handling because they often need extra time, resources, and support. Sometimes a project can be completed independently without many extra resources 10 minutes at a time. Think cleaning the cupboards in the kitchen. You can complete this over a period of time tackling one cupboard in 10 minutes. Versus cleaning the gutters where you may need special tools and another person to make sure it is completed safely.

These are the important details we consider when ending the mental mom to do list. Making a usable list will define our expectations and limitations. This will help us to know when to ask for help and where a new system will support our lifestyle.

May 12, 2026
Burnt-out Mom Surviving 10 minutes at a time

You know you are a burnt-out mom when you are trying to manage everything in your head. A burnt-out mom feels constantly behind. You are at the point where you cannot make another decision or answer another question… for anybody. Worst of all we feel as though as though we have no control. Using a 10 minute system can help regain control.

How do 10 minute systems help?

To begin with, when you complete a 10 minute system you FEEL as though you regained control. Do you feel completely in control? Obviously not! When everything is overwhelming and out of control though we will take any help we can get.

What qualifies as a 10 minute system?

Girl! That depends on what you need as a overwhelmed mom. Many of my personal 10 minute systems have a portion that just feels good at the end of a simple task. Think – Light a candle- Have a cup of tea- A nicely made bed- Generally the idea is at the end of the 10 minute task you will have something to feel good about.

What is the goal for burnt-out mom?

We can find pockets of 10 minutes but often it is hard to decide what to do with those 10 minutes when you find them. The goal is to know what to do that will make a difference while limiting the task or system to 10 minutes.

Why is the time limited to 10 minutes?

When limiting the amount of time to 10 minutes it makes the task feel doable even on a no energy day. On a high energy, everything is going fantastic, I must be dreaming sort of day? Well we can stack 10 minute tasks that way whenever we are near crashing we don’t have a mound of items with good intentions and no energy to deal with.

Who is this right for?

Any mom who is ready to accept something other than perfection. Any mom who struggles with decision fatigue. Especially burnt-out moms like me who start one task… then another… then another… then another but never quite finishes any. These systems will not leave everything 100% complete and that is the point. Finishing a preset task and giving yourself permission to appreciate where you are.

These 10 minute systems are not for perfect parenting or ensuring there are no problems throughout the day. 10 minute systems provide the opportunity to regain control and self confidence when nothing seems to work or there just isn’t time.

May 10, 2026
7 ways to make laundry folding fun with your toddler

Many of laundry folding days with my kids looks like a blooper reel. I really think they ask me ridiculous questions just to see how soon I will crack. I still have a limit but when I started taking it less seriously and enjoying the show laundry day became fun.

1. Have that special pile of wash cloths to fold.

They don’t even need to be freshly washed. If they were already folded then unfold them and toss them in the pile. Odds are they wont get folded so don’t go crazy but give them something to help with.

2. Bury your kid in the laundry and pretend they are missing.

Not in the washer and dryer! Just dump that freshly washed laundry on them. Maybe not the nice stuff. Lets face it though they will be knocking over your freshly washed and folded laundry at least once today.

3. Fashion show.

My kid cannot watch laundry be folded without demanding an outfit change. Let them! When we really get into it we pull out the runway (yoga mat) and the commentator describes in full detail the outfit. The more accessories the better.

4. Insist their pants are yours and the pants shrunk in the wash.

It is okay to be very upset that your favorite pants are ruined. The more dramatic the more giggles. We want these kids on board with laundry day.

5. Let them organize and sort socks.

It’s my least favorite part of laundry folding and we go through a ton of socks. Sometimes it actual shorting other times its ‘find a green sock’.

6. Have them take SMALL piles of clothes to their destination.

This is keeping them involved and interested. Also, when you get lucky they get distracted on the way back (and you can finish super quick).

7. Throw a mid fold dance party.

Seriously when nothing is working call it what it is. Take a short break from laundry folding and have a quick dance party.

As a parent it can feel impossible to get everything done. And if you are like me with huge ambitions by the end of the day it can feel like a joke. Just have a little extra intentional fun in the daily chores.

April 29, 2026
What age should a child make their own bed?
Young children enjoy being responsible for themselves and their own space. What age should a child make their own bed? Well, that depends on what priorities and routines are in your house. Keep in mind the later you start having children be responsible for themselves the harder and more stressful it is for your child.

Why should a child make their bed?

The benefits of making beds is discussed for adults with claims of reducing stress and increasing productivity. When it comes to our children we aren’t trying to increase productivity but the activity does have plenty of benefits.
- Promotes independence
- Promotes responsibility
- Provides sense of accomplishment
- Improved sleep
- Calm environment
When should kids start making their bed?

Kids should start making their bed when they show interest in it or can follow a simple one step instruction. These early stages of bed making do not look like a magazine but more on this later. Young children want to help and imitate the things they see their caregivers doing. If you routinely make beds and they see it then your child wants to try. Let them.

It is helpful to give the child the first and final step whenever they are excited to participate. Sometimes just putting the stuffed animal on the bed at the end gives the feeling of accomplishment. This feeling will encourage the desire to be responsible and independent.

What does toddler making bed look like?

When a toddler begins making their bed its a pretty awkward thing. Just getting the blanket and stuffy back onto the bed after they fell off can be a chore. It can also be a great place to start and a big win. After they learn to straighten blankets you might find the blanket isn’t actually much better off than it started. Still this is a big win.

How to Enjoy Your Toddler Years Age.

Start by showing the process.

This has probably been happening their whole life (unless you aren’t a bed maker but I’m going to guess you are if you are looking for your child to make theirs). As you get to the point where you feel your child will want to help soon you can provide very simple explanations of what you are doing. This is not meant to be in a teaching way. This provides vocabulary for the visual which will make the task easier to complete. Also, try to make the bed in the same order every time. Having a routine for bed making means the child doesn’t need to remember a whole list of task to do.

Do it together.

When practicing new skills together it is a good practice to break the task down into small sections. Start by having the child take part in any step they are interested in and encouraging a little extra help. This should be a no pressure situation. As they progress and have a good idea of the first or last step let them do it independently.

Let them do it themselves.

This is still meant to be pressure free! With young children we want to keep the activity short and timed right. One child may only make their bed as they are getting out of bed. Another child might need breakfast and playtime first. Adding one more task to do in the morning is not fun or easy. I have been known to include this in the after lunch cleanup on the weekends.

What age should a child make their own bed? If making beds isn’t a priority in your house then own that and don’t worry about it. You may find that your child actually enjoys their bed being made and it is calming and relaxing for them.

Toddler Building Activities: Promoting skill development
April 27, 2026
Clean up toys with 12 simple steps

Have you ever found yourself wanting your toddler to clean up toys but it never goes as planned? You see them cleaning up toys at daycare but then they get home and nothing works? There are a few things the daycare center does that encourages the child picking up toys. Here are twelve ways to make the cleaning activity easier.

Preparation Phase

The preparation phase is the longest and hardest of the phases but it sets us up for the future. When cleaning up gets hard this is typically where the issue is.

1. Limit the number of toys. Our children acquire so many toys and it actually is a key problem to clean up toys. They are overwhelmed and over stimulated. I know some people use a toy rotation process to limit access and its a great idea. For me though I have found that it is a lot of work with no payoff.

2. Every toy has a home. If a child doesn’t know where a toy belongs then they will not be able to easily put them away. These should be clearly defined and as an added benefit helps our children to categorize and organize. What a gift!

3. Keep toy homes easy to access. There are some toys that need adult supervision and they can be kept out of reach. But the majority of the toys we are frustrated that we trip over aren’t those. Think Montessori toy storage. Low open shelves where the child can see everything, reach everything, and have control to put them back.

4. Use pictures. Have a picture on the shelves to remind where each item goes. Take after photos to show what clean looks like.

Create the Routine Phase

Now that you know what toys are in the house (because lets be honest unless everything had a place we really don’t know). It can be easy to create a plan to put in place for quick clean ups.

5. Set up times of day to pick up toys. Routines are great for toddlers it really helps them to feel safe and confident. We have an after lunch and after dinner schedule. Honestly I would prefer to do before lunch and before dinner but I have found everyone is in a better mood after a little food.

6. Create a pick up routine. I like a top down or bottom up approach. Start by cleaning under all items (beds, desks, chairs, tables). Then move to items on the floor. Finally on top of surfaces like tables and shelves. It works the same in reverse order. When first getting a toddler to join the cleanup though we work on specific items to pick up (blocks, dolls, play food…).

7. Create a checklist. Create a checklist with the pictures used earlier. A quick reminder of what clean looks like and how to get there makes a toddler feel great.

8. Set a limit for the amount of time you will allow cleaning to go on. This is by far my biggest hurdle and hardest to stick to. We are not going to expect a toddler to clean up and stay on task for an hour. If the toys have got out of hand then we need to break it down into smaller sections and stick to a 15 minute period that our child can stay on task. Each child is different… pay attention to your child’s abilities.

Maintenance Phase

Will our house’s always be clean with toys put away? Um probably not. When we trust that toys can be put away by toddlers and know that twice a day it will be done then we feel a bit less stressed.

9. Don’t let the toys get out of hand. Easier said than done am I right! It will happen from time to time but the more often we can make pick up simple the better.

10. Encourage putting toys away when done. If you are playing together with a toy. Practice putting the toy away as soon as you are done. Also, if they are requesting to play suggest that the prior toy is put away prior to new activity.

11. Start small and let the child have the win for completion. When starting the new pick up routine complete the tasks together. As they work on the skill they will be able to clean up for themselves. When cleaning up together always let the child finish the task themselves for the confidence boost.

12. Play music. If you are a toddler song kind of a parent then find a good toddler clean up song. My song choices look more like my running playlist and that’s fine too.

The key to any clean up routine is to stick to simple processes with a defined goal. When our toddlers know what clean looks like and when to do it… this became a simple process with a goal.

April 25, 2026
How to wash hands for kids
How to wash your hands for kids comes with some unique and often unexpected challenges. Toddlers washing hands has been one big frustration in my life. The biggest frustration with it is public bathrooms. When you have a handful of kids trying to wash their hands and you have to hold them superman style to reach the soap dispenser. Then mid pump some person selfishly chooses to dry their hands with the air dryer. At this time your noise sensitive child suspended mid air starts screaming and suddenly refuses to wash their hands. Public bathrooms are the worst when trying to promote positive toddler hand washing.

Importance of washing hands for kids

The first hurdle on the importance of washing hands for kids is teaching kids when to wash hands and the benefits of washing hands. When it comes to toddler washing hands I keep the explanation of benefits as simple as possible. I find that with a child when you give a simple answer they get curious and come up with questions and interest that you don’t expect. See what they think and give them just a little bit more.

With the list of when to wash hands it feels like you will be washing toddler hands all day. I personally avoid hand sanitizer as much as is possible.
- Before cooking or preparing food
- Before eating meals and snacks
- After using the restroom
- After coming in contact with germs (coughing, sneezing and such)
- After feeding or touching animals
- When coming in contact with a person who is sick
- When coming back home
Toddlers washing hands

When it comes to toddlers washing hands it is the same process an adult uses. The huge difference is the drama and fanfare associated with the process. Since we are washing toddler hands about 52 times a day it is worthwhile to have a good sink set up at home. I get it… space is limited and we have to work with what we have. Make as much of the process available to your independent toddler as possible and it will pay off in relaxed hand washing.
- Step one: Rinse hands. Can your child reach the sink? Can they reach the water? Can they turn the water on AND off?
- Step two: Soap. To start with a young toddler I don’t mind so much if the soap is out of reach since they need a lot of assistance with the whole process. And they just keep pumping soap until its empty. As their ability to use an appropriate amount increases so does the access.
- Step three: Scrub the hands. Let them scrub their hands themselves. Will they miss spots? Yup they sure will. The cool thing about washing your hands 50 times a day means they get lots of reps in quick. They will actually be reasonably proficient pretty quick if you let them. Start where they are at and give them extra tips to work on over time (when they are up for it… not while they are in a melt down). When focusing on washing for 20 seconds find a chorus for a song you could enjoy singing all day long.
- Step four: Rinse hands. We keep the water off during the whole scrubbing process so they aren’t accidentally rinsed prematurely.
- Step five: Dry hands. Give the hands two shakes in the sink (this is half the kids favorite part so its a must). Keeping a drying option within reach is a must. When a child can complete the process themselves they feel more independent in the process.
Hand washing is one of the musts in life. If there is an option about hand washing you can give like which type of soap to use or how to dry hands it can help. Being able to laugh at the ridiculous public bathroom set ups also really helps. Like when the paper towel dispenser is 5 feet off the floor. Parenting needs lots of support and laughs.
April 24, 2026
Best tips how to brush toddler teeth
Toddlers teeth typically begin to erupt within the first year and the struggle of how to brush toddler teeth begins. Even a child who previously was excited to brush their teeth can suddenly refuse during the toddler years. Good dental hygiene is important so finding out how to brush toddler teeth is a must. These are not the permanent adult teeth but poor toddler teeth brushing habits can have a lasting effect.

Toddler Teeth Brushing Tip 1

Typically I stay away from using favorite characters to get my kids to do things but in the case of brushing habits I do let them pick out their favorite character (or color) toothbrush. This is only a temporary solution and helps with the mildest cases of toddler brushing teeth refusal. Sometimes even when you think you have a bad case this is actually just enough to change their mind.

Toddler Brushing Teeth Tip 2

Let them brush your teeth. Sound scary? For me it is. The tactic though… so worth it. This works on so many levels for converting the reluctant brusher. First, the pressure to brush teeth is off. When the pressure for toddler teeth brushing is off they can relax and enjoy it. Second, they get to practice the skills and SEE what they are doing. Third, its just fun for them! Kids at this stage love to mimic and attempt tasks you do.

Toddler Teeth Brushing Tip 3

Change the location. There are a few ways to change the location. One is to set up the bathroom so its a little more toddler friendly. If your child can reach the sink all by themselves and take a more independent role that can get our strong willed child excited to do it themselves. Or if all of the power struggles happen in the bathroom… try the kitchen.

Dental health is more than just brushing teething

Start flossing early. Flossing is a hard skill to learn. I would say much tougher than brushing. Floss before brushing and start before there is a need

After brushing for the night do not provide more food or drinks (except water). Food and drinks left in the mouth at bedtime is a significant cause of dental issues.

Take your toddler to the dentist regularly. Sticking with a regular dental visit will help catch any issues and help with proper brushing techniques.

Toddler teeth cleaning at the dentist

Kids first dentistry experience happens 6 months after getting their first tooth or by the time they are a year old. If you have passed this time-frame and still haven’t made it don’t stress just get them on the schedule and prepare your toddler for their first dental cleaning.

How do dentists clean toddler teeth? The toddler will sit on their caregivers lap and lay back. The dental hygienist uses a toddler toothbrush to clean and count teeth. The fist visits are very quick because the child has a short attention span and few teeth.

To make the toddler teeth cleaning experience easier there are a few steps you can take.
- Prepare for the visit by playing dentist with a doll or stuffed animal.
- Avoid using any negative words like “it wont hurt”. Odds are they weren’t worried about pain.
- Let them practice being the dentist on you.
- Explain what they may see or hear ahead of time.
Helping our children learn to care for their teeth in the toddler years will get easier with practice. Learning to take care of dental hygiene now will prepare for success with the permanent teeth. As they say only brush the teeth you want to keep.
April 23, 2026
What is self advocate meaning: Ignite toddlers secret skill?
When our children are 18 months old and lacking communication skills it is hard to imagine them being a self advocate. But when we think about self advocate meaning being about communication and knowing what the we want and need then we begin to see a way to help our children to get there. This starts with self awareness.

Toddler Self Awareness

One important change that happens in the toddler years is self awareness. They begin to see themselves in new light as an individual with their own interests and desires. This is the period where they begin experiencing new emotions and notice their thoughts are not the same as their caregivers. Children will start to say I and me ( this isn’t just because they are learning new words) this is toddler self awareness. During this time it is very important to model use of language to communicate feelings, needs, wants, likes, and dislikes. Providing the receptive language for self awareness assists in toddlers moving easily into a self advocate role. Although full self advocacy will not be achieved in the toddler years this is a good time to set the groundwork.

Self Advocate Meaning

Often self advocacy meaning is thought of in work, education, and healthcare but this is really a life skill. The ability to recognize strengths, weaknesses, needs, and wishes then communicate those with others. Teaching young children who they can go to for help and providing the language to communicate needs can boost our toddler’s confidence.

Self Advocacy Skills

The first self advocacy skills a toddler develops is saying no. This is our children speaking up for themselves. It is important to encourage the no’s even when no isn’t an option. For instance when buckling the child into the car seat but they do not want to. Use your words to explain their feelings, desires, and needs. This will not stop the no’s from coming and we don’t want them to.

Also, learning to solve problems independently promotes self advocacy. When your child is trying to carry more and an arm load of toys from one room to another. Watch how they resolve the problem. Children who gain confidence by solving problems independently have the confidence to speak up for themselves.

Self Advocacy Examples
- Saying me or I
- ‘No!’
- requesting help
- Stating emotions or feelings
- Problem solving
Although the journey to self advocacy is a long path. Starting our children off in the early years building self awareness and confidence will build a solid foundation. Providing the language and opportunities ask for help and express desires will continue to solidify their ability to grow the self advocacy muscle.
April 19, 2026