Some days are just hectic and nonstop putting out fires. Often with a day like this a 10 minute tidy up will transform your home. Ideally after the 10 minute tidy you will find a place to unwind or work on a hobby for a few minutes.

Where to start

Start with putting water on to boil. I will tell you with just about any 10 minute tidy I do it starts with heating water for tea to enjoy after I am done. My favorite post hectic day tea is typically a turmeric and ginger tea.

Give the kids a task they can handle independently during the 10 minute tidy. Remember this is something to be completed within 10 minutes that you do not need to manage.

1 to 3 year olds can help with wiping tables, picking up laundry, or sweeping. Sometimes having a pile of wash cloths they can fold keeps them ‘helping’ and occupied.

3 and 4 year olds can be very helpful putting away specific toys. Also, they are ready to be responsible for collecting dishes, trash, or laundry. Often at this age it is important to be specific and keep the requests small.

5 to 10 year olds can clean up their toys without much further direction. They can help out with household chores also but I have found the biggest help on hectic days is if they can pick up toys.

After the age of 10 they can help out with regular household tasks independently and they have less toys laying around. Look for an item that takes time (about 10 minutes) but would make a big impact. Ideas would be folding the pile of laundry, washing dishes, returning items to rooms.

If you have a partner ask they to complete something specific as well. Lots of times our partner just does not know what we need or what would be helpful in the moment. Remember everyone’s day will be better if we all work together for just 10 minutes.

10 minute tidy for an ultimate transformation

Everyone else has a job. Now what?

While our water heats up for our tea we are going to take 4 minutes and pick up the essentials. Trash, dishes, and laundry. Don’t be tempted to wash dishes or laundry just bring it to their proper location.

Next we will pick our trigger area and focus on that. For me that means clearing off all the items that don’t belong on the table and chairs. Everything goes back to the room or area it belongs. Do not actually put it away at this time unless it is very quick.

Halfway Point

Okay, so we made it halfway through our 10 minute tidy up. Put that hot water into your tea cup and lets move forward.

Quick assessment. We now have all trash, laundry and dishes picked up. Our most triggering area completely clear. And I got to say… This feels good.

It is time to pick the final boulder to tackle. While you were handling the rest of the tasks your eyes kept bringing you back to that one distracting thing. This is your chance to handle it. Chances are for my house there is a pile of 12 blankets unfolded in the middle of the living room floor and it has frustrated me every time I walked past it.

Burnt-out Mom Surviving 10 minutes at a time

Final 10 minute tidy up

If there is any time left go ahead and handle some of the dishes. Or put those stacks of laundry away. Then pull out your favorite quiet time hobby and tea. Take the next 10 minutes to relax and catch your breath.

I admit that claiming 10 minute tidy can be an ultimate transformation is well… bold. And quite honestly I am okay with that. I know the difference and space this has made in my life and I want to give that to you.

Who is this for?

Anyone who is willing to pick up after themselves and/or other people. Get the kids involved. Get other adults in the house involved. The nice thing is we are only talking about 10 minute tidy.

When do we do a 10 minute tidy?

I like the idea of a 10 minute tidy at any transition period. After every meal. Before leaving the house. At bedtime. I know when we are running out the door with toddlers the thought of spending 10 minutes picking up sounds ridiculous. It is worth it to come home manageable space.

What happens during the 10 minutes?

At first you might spend the whole 10 minutes picking up trash. Or collecting laundry and dishes. That is a perfect place to start. Overtime (and not even a long time) you will find that you can pick up all trash, laundry and dishes with time to spare.

Advanced 10 minute tidy includes returning items to their destination and spending the last two minutes relaxing on purpose.

What don’t we do during the 10 minute tidy?

Items that take longer than 30 seconds to put away are not the focus during this time. That ornament that should go in the bin in the back of the closet…. its not your time.

We do not wash dishes (unless this is a post meal tidy… if so… PLEASE just wash up those dishes). If we are talking a plate and a fork that just needs to go in the dishwasher without any further attention? I will give you a pass.

There is no toilet or bathtub cleaning. If there was a major toddler situation going on handle it but that is not actually part of the tidy.

Do not vacuum, sweep, or dust. These items are harder to do if you haven’t already picked up and just take away from the job at hand.

Laundry? Oh this is so tempting to me. I cannot even help myself. When you get to advanced tidy skills you should assess this for yourself and report back.

Keys to making this work

When picking up as a household during transition periods is just something we do then it stops being such a chore. A 2 year old can clear their dishes and scrape food into the trash. They can manage bringing their own dirty laundry to the appropriate spot. And they are often too good at throwing things away, maybe not always knowing which things to throw away.

Have low expectations at first. 10 minutes is not a long time when you are starting out. We are going to stop picking up at 10 minutes regardless of how much more there is to be done. Let the kids go back to what they have going on… let the other adults go back to what they have going on. If you really want to keep going…. wash some dishes or clean a toilet.

How does this make a difference?

The biggest impact made with the 10 minute tidy is a mindset change. We become the household the picks up laundry, doesn’t leave trash around, picks up dishes. We become the household that works together to complete tasks.

We begin to see where the pain points are in the process. Things like the toddler can’t reach the laundry basket. Or we keep the trash can in a locked cupboard and nobody wants to take the extra step to unlock it.

The 10 minute tidy makes it easier to do the work when you are ready. It is easy to put a load of laundry in the washer when all the dirty laundry is together. It is easier to do the dishes when the first step isn’t scouring the house for dishes. It is easier to sweep or vacuum where there isn’t stuff all over the floor.

Come on ladies, we CANNOT continue to keep mom to do lists in our heads. The mental overwhelm of trying to keep track of everything is holding us back. I also don’t want long to do lists sitting around because they never get done. We are going to re-frame the list and make it useful.

Where to start with the mental mom to do list?

Take some time over the next day or weeks (10 minutes at a time) to write down all of the things you need to do. Some will be daily things like the dishes and some could be yearly things like filing taxes or one time projects. The list needs to include must do, would be nice to do, and really want to dos.

Now what? I feel overwhelmed!

Yup. You do a lot in your life and have even bigger dreams. There are some things on the list that you know are non-negotiable. You need to eat, sleep, and use the bathroom. We are going to break the list up into categories. Must do, want to do, Suzie thinks I should. Suzie is my friend who really has her stuff together and is at a new phase of life. I value her opinion and want to do her ideas (they are always worth it) but I can only handle one at a time.

I’m not sure that helped. There is so much to do.

I get it. There is still so much on our plates. Now its time to decide one category at a time which tasks on our mom to-do list will be daily, weekly, monthly, yearly, or one time events. Take your time and really think how often do I actually do this, how often do I feel this should be done, how long could it sit untouched without becoming an added stressors. What we are left with is a fantastic list with a very wide range of timelines to accomplish tasks.

A fun step in the new list

Decide which tasks actually need to be accomplished by you and which ones you can be satisfied just knowing they are done. If you look at your list and decide all of the items need to be completed by you then put this task aside and do a little reflection. Do you feel as though you have nobody that would do it or that nobody can do it as well as you.

Outsourcing the mom to-do list

Everyone in the house gets to help complete the mom to-do list. I am not the type of person who is comfortable asking for help. I have absolutely moved all of the furniture out of my house by myself. All too often we take on more than needed and the people in our household don’t even know what help we need. Especially when they see us just handling it. Our children benefit from knowing how to tidy a house or manage their own routines.

10 minute systems

If a system takes much longer than 10 minutes it gets hard to plan to complete it or complete it once started. All tasks on your daily list should be completed withing a daily system that happens at a specific time or trigger. This is where morning and night time routines come in. Weekly tasks will be separated by days of the week but for now we aren’t stressing about making a full plan. We are getting the information out of our heads and onto paper in a way we can use it.

What about tasks that take longer than 10 minutes?

When a task takes longer than 10 minutes we are going to call it a project. Projects get special handling because they often need extra time, resources, and support. Sometimes a project can be completed independently without many extra resources 10 minutes at a time. Think cleaning the cupboards in the kitchen. You can complete this over a period of time tackling one cupboard in 10 minutes. Versus cleaning the gutters where you may need special tools and another person to make sure it is completed safely.

These are the important details we consider when ending the mental mom to do list. Making a usable list will define our expectations and limitations. This will help us to know when to ask for help and where a new system will support our lifestyle.

You know you are a burnt-out mom when you are trying to manage everything in your head. A burnt-out mom feels constantly behind. You are at the point where you cannot make another decision or answer another question… for anybody. Worst of all we feel as though as though we have no control. Using a 10 minute system can help regain control.

How do 10 minute systems help?

To begin with, when you complete a 10 minute system you FEEL as though you regained control. Do you feel completely in control? Obviously not! When everything is overwhelming and out of control though we will take any help we can get.

What qualifies as a 10 minute system?

Girl! That depends on what you need as a overwhelmed mom. Many of my personal 10 minute systems have a portion that just feels good at the end of a simple task. Think – Light a candle- Have a cup of tea- A nicely made bed- Generally the idea is at the end of the 10 minute task you will have something to feel good about.

What is the goal for burnt-out mom?

We can find pockets of 10 minutes but often it is hard to decide what to do with those 10 minutes when you find them. The goal is to know what to do that will make a difference while limiting the task or system to 10 minutes.

Why is the time limited to 10 minutes?

When limiting the amount of time to 10 minutes it makes the task feel doable even on a no energy day. On a high energy, everything is going fantastic, I must be dreaming sort of day? Well we can stack 10 minute tasks that way whenever we are near crashing we don’t have a mound of items with good intentions and no energy to deal with.

Who is this right for?

Any mom who is ready to accept something other than perfection. Any mom who struggles with decision fatigue. Especially burnt-out moms like me who start one task… then another… then another… then another but never quite finishes any. These systems will not leave everything 100% complete and that is the point. Finishing a preset task and giving yourself permission to appreciate where you are.

These 10 minute systems are not for perfect parenting or ensuring there are no problems throughout the day. 10 minute systems provide the opportunity to regain control and self confidence when nothing seems to work or there just isn’t time.

Many of laundry folding days with my kids looks like a blooper reel. I really think they ask me ridiculous questions just to see how soon I will crack. I still have a limit but when I started taking it less seriously and enjoying the show laundry day became fun.

1. Have that special pile of wash cloths to fold.

They don’t even need to be freshly washed. If they were already folded then unfold them and toss them in the pile. Odds are they wont get folded so don’t go crazy but give them something to help with.

2. Bury your kid in the laundry and pretend they are missing.

Not in the washer and dryer! Just dump that freshly washed laundry on them. Maybe not the nice stuff. Lets face it though they will be knocking over your freshly washed and folded laundry at least once today.

3. Fashion show.

My kid cannot watch laundry be folded without demanding an outfit change. Let them! When we really get into it we pull out the runway (yoga mat) and the commentator describes in full detail the outfit. The more accessories the better.

4. Insist their pants are yours and the pants shrunk in the wash.

It is okay to be very upset that your favorite pants are ruined. The more dramatic the more giggles. We want these kids on board with laundry day.

5. Let them organize and sort socks.

It’s my least favorite part of laundry folding and we go through a ton of socks. Sometimes it actual shorting other times its ‘find a green sock’.

6. Have them take SMALL piles of clothes to their destination.

This is keeping them involved and interested. Also, when you get lucky they get distracted on the way back (and you can finish super quick).

7. Throw a mid fold dance party.

Seriously when nothing is working call it what it is. Take a short break from laundry folding and have a quick dance party.

As a parent it can feel impossible to get everything done. And if you are like me with huge ambitions by the end of the day it can feel like a joke. Just have a little extra intentional fun in the daily chores.

Young children enjoy being responsible for themselves and their own space. What age should a child make their own bed? Well, that depends on what priorities and routines are in your house. Keep in mind the later you start having children be responsible for themselves the harder and more stressful it is for your child.

Why should a child make their bed?

The benefits of making beds is discussed for adults with claims of reducing stress and increasing productivity. When it comes to our children we aren’t trying to increase productivity but the activity does have plenty of benefits.

• Promotes independence
• Promotes responsibility
• Provides sense of accomplishment
• Improved sleep
• Calm environment

When should kids start making their bed?

Kids should start making their bed when they show interest in it or can follow a simple one step instruction. These early stages of bed making do not look like a magazine but more on this later. Young children want to help and imitate the things they see their caregivers doing. If you routinely make beds and they see it then your child wants to try. Let them.

It is helpful to give the child the first and final step whenever they are excited to participate. Sometimes just putting the stuffed animal on the bed at the end gives the feeling of accomplishment. This feeling will encourage the desire to be responsible and independent.

What does toddler making bed look like?

When a toddler begins making their bed its a pretty awkward thing. Just getting the blanket and stuffy back onto the bed after they fell off can be a chore. It can also be a great place to start and a big win. After they learn to straighten blankets you might find the blanket isn’t actually much better off than it started. Still this is a big win.

How to Enjoy Your Toddler Years Age.

Start by showing the process.

This has probably been happening their whole life (unless you aren’t a bed maker but I’m going to guess you are if you are looking for your child to make theirs). As you get to the point where you feel your child will want to help soon you can provide very simple explanations of what you are doing. This is not meant to be in a teaching way. This provides vocabulary for the visual which will make the task easier to complete. Also, try to make the bed in the same order every time. Having a routine for bed making means the child doesn’t need to remember a whole list of task to do.

Do it together.

When practicing new skills together it is a good practice to break the task down into small sections. Start by having the child take part in any step they are interested in and encouraging a little extra help. This should be a no pressure situation. As they progress and have a good idea of the first or last step let them do it independently.

Let them do it themselves.

This is still meant to be pressure free! With young children we want to keep the activity short and timed right. One child may only make their bed as they are getting out of bed. Another child might need breakfast and playtime first. Adding one more task to do in the morning is not fun or easy. I have been known to include this in the after lunch cleanup on the weekends.

What age should a child make their own bed? If making beds isn’t a priority in your house then own that and don’t worry about it. You may find that your child actually enjoys their bed being made and it is calming and relaxing for them.

Toddler Building Activities: Promoting skill development