Parenting is hard it seems to change with each stage of life. These 5 parenting skills can be used throughout all the years you have children in your house. Bonus these take less than 10 minutes at a time.

Active Listening

Parents spend lots of time directing our children on what to do. An equal amount of time is dedicated to telling them how good of a job they did or how hard they are working.

When it comes to the parenting skill active listening we are going to take a 10 minute pause from all of that to listen. Without our own commentary, direction, or judgment. Sometimes an older child takes time to adjust to the new communication style.

Different stages of their life looks a bit different but the idea is always let the child lead and be fully engaged without judgment. When you have a baby let them lead the cooing session. A toddler might use showing in their message. Your preschooler begins to expand on initial ideas. The school age years you will really begin to have depth and new ideas.

Be consistent

One major parenting skill that reduces frustration is consistency. Even small children pick up how our houses function. They will point out and question when we do things out of order. I remember on one occasion I tried to do bath before dinner because we were extra muddy and had limited time later. It didn’t go great.

Consistency doesn’t mean you cannot be flexible but you wan to it on purpose. We have a rule that at certain times all toys get put away for the day. On occasion a request is made to leave a certain toy out. Sometimes the toy then gets a temporary new home.

Don’t make lots of big changes at once because you cannot keep up on them all. Deciding what to be consistent on can be a challenge if you have not been consistent before. Pick something that is quick and has an impact. For instance the rule ‘toddlers clean up their own spills’. Will reduce water poured on the table at dinner and years of cleaning up after your child spills. Big impact for a 30 second task.

The biggest impact for your child is being able to feel safe and confident. As they grow knowing what to expect reduces conflict. Although there will be periods of resistance or boundary pushing, your child can move through them quicker and easier if you have been consistent.

Do something together

I fully admit I am not great at playing with children. For the parenting skill of doing something together it does not need to be play. The skill revolves around together and there is nothing wrong with including them in your things.

In my opinion you get bonus points if its something hard. Build a birdhouse, organize the garage, draw pictures, learn a language. Watching a movie together can be fun but not the most helpful option. If we are limited on time taking 10 minutes to work on something far outweighs the bonding you get from a movie.

Encourage problem solving

It is tough to start letting our children solve problems for themselves. With practice we can allow the children to develop these important independent skills. It feels quicker and easier to solve simple problems ourselves but it takes less than 10 minutes to use these 5 parenting skills to develop a child that doesn’t need it.

Let them solve problems big and small. But try to limit it initially to problems that wont change their lives more than temporary.

Encourage independence

Independence like problem solving is a tough skill as a parent to start working on. It is hard to look at your two year old and think they can be responsible (partially) for themselves. It can also be hard to pack your middle school kid’s backpack because they haven’t learned to be responsible for it yet.

What a child should do on their own and be responsible for depends on yourself and your child. It is important to have things they are responsible and capable of handling independently.

Wrap up

There are many things that we need to keep up with as parents. Follow the 5 parenting skills to keep things as simple as possible and have them fit into a ten minute window. This makes it feel more actionable and possible.