Do calm mornings as a parent sound fake? Well maybe they are if you want to sip coffee in peace while reading a novel or paint with the morning sun. You can get there if that’s the goal but we are talking about getting out the door for work, school, and daycare.

The list of things that need to be done in a very short time frame is impressive. In order to have clam mornings we need to develop a clear structure where I children know either what comes next or what to do next.

Why This Matters

Calm mornings change the whole day. Days starting like this prepare our children and ourselves for all the hard and fun things for the day. If we are not teaching our children what mornings should look like then we are adding to the chaos.

Our children can get themselves ready for the day. I mean completely ready if we allow them to by first grade. We do need to handle less than perfect outcomes along the day and continually, slowly allow the responsibility to transfer. This will come in stages and each time you see your child confidently handle a new responsibility you will see them smile.

Step by Step Teaching Guide

Getting out the door it is hard to imagine calm mornings. The goal is to give our children lots of opportunities to try. Both success and getting stuck are part of learning a skill.

These mini lessons should not feel like a classroom. But much like a classroom it is the parents responsibility to set up the area for success. Before introducing a new skill think about the challenges your child might face. Also, save some challenges for them to think about and solve with you.

Sometimes the 10 minute challenge will be a skill your child has mastered or is not quite ready for. If they are not quite ready for it still introduce the skill and follow the process. You still want to work through the skill with your child but responsibility will not transfer. If they have already mastered the skill I challenge you to ask your child what they want to do for themselves that is related to the task.

After completing the 10-minute challenge begin the Fox Discovery Trail exploration. The best way to approach this step is to be curious since there is no right answer. In the responses listen for signs that your child is noticing their own thinking.

Initially an ‘I don’t know’ response is appropriate since they haven’t built the skill of talking about their thinking. If you do receive this response wait another 5-10 seconds and see if they build on the response. Try narrowing the question if they still have not responded. Instead of ‘What did you notice’ try ‘What was your favorite part’.

This is your child’s thinking time, it is important to let them do the thinking. If you notice they do not have the words to answer model this throughout the day.

Common Mistakes with Calm Mornings

We all know it is easier to do it yourself. Easier, quicker, quieter, less chaos. All of it. We need to -on purpose- let our children do the work in order to achieve calm mornings.

Not giving our morning or our child enough time. If it takes your child 10 minutes to put on their shoes it is not okay to only give them 5 minutes.

When the space is not designed for our children to be successful. We baby-proof and put things out of our children’s reach. Often this is much needed. But when our children are growing the space does not always grow with them.

10 Minute Challenge

Fox Discovery Trail

What did you notice?

Where did you get stuck?

What will you try next time?

What will you do if something goes wrong? How could go wrong?

How can I help?

Parent Time Saved

Independence Ladder

Carry water bottle or snack to car

Put on shoes

Put on socks

Brush Hair

Dress Independently

Make Breakfast

Make Bed

Brush Teeth