There are many dressing skills that children need to meet within dressing milestones. These come from basic everyday curious moments our children have. Providing ample opportunities for diverse movements and coordination practice will improve toddlers ability to dress themselves.

Dressing skills

Dressing skills start with body awareness. Well before your child attempts to put a shirt on themselves they need to gain awareness of self. Dressing skills by age 1 can include removing socks. This movement includes pincer grasp, intentional movements of legs and feet, and importantly the knowledge there are socks on their feet. During this period your child will also begin to push their arms through the sleeve of a shirt.

Fine motor skills and coordination are an important part of moving to more advanced dressing skills. Dressing skills by age 2 can include fine motor skills as well as balance which will include pinching and pulling pants while staying upright in a seated position. Toddlers are increasing their awareness of their body, movements, and gaining strength. Providing many ways for your toddler to manipulate their bodies to gain strength and coordination will increase their ability for self dressing. Backward chaining is a good method to teach skills at this stage. With this method you will complete all but the final step as the child increases their ability to complete more of the process.

Dressing activities for 3 4 year olds

By the time our children are 3 they are beginning to self dress and can have a wide range of abilities and met dressing milestones. Quiet Books or Montessori Dressing Frames are a good way for preschool age children to practice tricky fine motor skills. These activities will include buttons, lacing, and zippers.

Provide opportunities to determine right from left shoes.

Dressing skills milestones

• Undressing
  • Socks – Generally the first item to be undressed and many socks will go missing!
  • Hats – Removing hats is a close second. This can get very frustrating during winter months.
  • Shirts – Removing shirts can be a complicated process. Be as consistent as possible when assisting so the child can mimic the process.
  • Pants – Pulling down pants is an important step of the toilet training process.
  • Underwear – Typically by the time they are wearing underwear they have already mastered removing their pants. Often this skill is easier to grasp as they have already built a like skill.
  • shoes – Removing shoes can go right along with moving socks.
• Dressing
  • Socks – It takes practice to put socks on so the heel is on the bottom.
  • Underwear-
  • Shirts – The first step learned when putting on the shirt you will see is pushing an arm through while dressing your toddler.
  • Pants –
  • Jackets – The jacket flip is a process which many toddlers use to learn to put on jackets. Lay jacket on the ground with head towards feet. When you put your hands through the sleeves flip the jacket overhead.
  • Shoes – There are so many challenges with shoes! Between choosing the right foot, laces, and holding the tongue.
  • Hats – Hats can be fun to practice with. This is a good step to learning where head is in relation to body to assist with other dressing skills.
• Fasteners
  • Buttons – Practicing buttons can start with putting a coin into a slot. Then progressing to large then small buttons.
  • Snaps – Having a strong pincher grasp takes a lot of work! When they figure it out snaps are a great option.
  • Velcro – This fastener is easy to learn and provides quick wins.
  • Lacing –
  • Tying – Shoe tying is so tricky! This is a skill to use Back Chaining on. Always talk through the whole process then let them complete the final step. When they have a hang of that add the prior step.
  • Belts – Weaving? Pulling? The most complicated part is not being able to see clearly. Practice first where the buckle is clearly visible.

Toddler Independence Stage

The toddler independence stage occurs throughout the whole toddler period. Toddler and independence go hand in hand. Toddlers are supposed to assert their independence.

When thinking about toddler independence it is important to think about an independent child definition. An independent child will be able to problem solve for themselves, self advocate when there is need, desires to learn and grow, resilience, and is able to self regulate their emotions. OUR TODDLERS ARE NOT THERE… Yet.

Independence is a skill that toddlers begin to work on after their first birthday. This is a long game and it is hard. Keep in mind the child is doing the hardest work while we work on our patience.

How to teach toddler independence

A easier way to look at this is how to encourage toddler independence stage. The first step is to observe the toddler wanting independence. Then provide opportunities for the toddler to be showing independence.

One way to see a toddler wanting independence is the attempt to dress or undress, feed themselves, and they start to tell you ‘no’. This is the period where you are struggling with terrible twos.

How to encourage independence in your child starts with assuming your child is capable of more than you think. When seeing your toddler struggle with a new skill resist the urge to help. If yesterday they put a leg in their pants let them try to put the second leg in.

Set up their environment to allow the child to practice skills. Keep towels for cleaning spills accessible. Have the child’s spoon, plate, and cup at a level they can reach. Practice the “I do, We do, You do” method for skill building. This method will slowly and appropriately transition responsibility of tasks.

Toddler Independence Skills

• Self dressing
• Self feeding
• Sharing
• Self advocacy
• Brush teeth
• Wash Face
• Wash Hands
• Brush Hair
• Pick up toys
• Make bed
• Fold wash cloths
• Fold Socks
• Clean spills
• Making choices (limit to two options)
• Using toilet
• Set table
• Clean table after meal
• Pour drinks
• Mixing and measuring ingredients
• Understanding and following safety rules

What age should a child make their own bed?

Toddler independence tantrums

Many toddler tantrums start with the toddlers desire for independence. We all experience how challenging it is when our skills and desires do not align. Toddlers have an additional disadvantage where they have not learned coping skills to manage the frustration. Practicing coping skills ahead of the tantrum can help your child work through it. The more practice that occurs the more your child can work through their situation.

Toddler independence activities

• Setting table
• Building block towers
• Coloring on plain sheets of paper
• Picking book to read
• Helping with laundry
• Ride balance bike

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Toddler independence checklist

• Set up the environment
• Prepare for tantrums and meltdowns
• Follow I do, We do, You do
• Allow mistakes
• Practice skills

Activities to promote independence in toddlers

• Change diapers in bathroom and allow a pressure free attempt to use toilet
• Let child pick out clothes the night before
• Help with cooking meals
• Follow routines
• Provide ‘Yes’ spaces

Toddler too independent

When you have a very independent toddler you will find other adults are uncomfortable. Your child is expanding their understanding of what a small child is capable of. Adults tend to try saving children they see from doing hard things and knowing what to do is a challenge. When help is offered or often just given a good approach is to simply state ‘no thank you, I trust this child is capable’. You will get looks and strange comments from time to time. What you are reinforcing with the child is that you believe they can do hard things and don’t need to be saved. This will show them how to approach these situations in the future.

When a 3 year old wants to do everything herself. Let them. As much as reasonably possible. It takes longer and can be very frustrating but let them anyway. Often preparing ahead of time helps. If getting out the door on time is tough prepare the night before by setting clothes out the child can put on themselves, prepare breakfast portions to be served themselves, and packing backs to be set by the door or in the car.

How to deal with toddler independence

Okay so its true having an independent toddler can be frustrating. They take forever, things get messy, and other people are trying to save your child all the time. Parents who encourage independence make it through the toddler year melt downs sooner and with less parental burnout.

How to foster independent play in toddlers

Start the day without tablets, TV, or any toys that need batteries. When the toy is doing the entertaining for you, you are not building independent play skills. Leave toys out without providing direction. Limit the number of toys available to play with. When children are not being entertained, directed, or overwhelm ed they feel the freedom to try new and harder things.